Wednesday, July 6, 2016


in light of the recent events
of sadness and tragedy,
confusion over identity,
war on religion,
the increasing division in our nation...

i had a wondering,
a thought,
a "What If"

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The other day my son asked me…
What challenge did you get mom?
i was unclear of the question and so he said,
“you know Heavenly Father gave us a challenge to overcome a test kind of thing…”

i thought the last days would be about nuclear warfare,
but I think it is worse than that.
it might just be the catastrophic decline of our emotional state of being
confusion over our identity and soul searching purpose.

We are slowly becoming a Godless society.

without God
we are not…
there are no commandments and guidelines
no Adam, no Eve
no posterity…
but God was and is
a man and a woman were created
to bring forth the human family.

 Hence mankind unfolded.
We live in an imperfect world
desperate for an all knowing, all loving and perfect Heavenly Father
who was willing to share His Perfect and Sinless Son 
in the most painful, humiliating, and degrading way…
because we needed the Atonement or we would be eternally lost.
Jesus suffered and atoned for every single pain, illness, transgression
so HE would know just exactly what we were experiencing
HE would know to the very minute detail what would be required to help us 
face and conquer our personal challenge…

Instead we choose the manner of men.
We choose to give into our challenge for a moment of pleasure
until the choice is gone.
Our challenge has swallowed us whole
and we have become a slave it.
The laughter of Satan roars in the destructive forces and calamities 
that rage upon the earth.

prophecy: a Savior would be born - Check
prophecy: a prophet would show us the way leading to eternal happiness - Check
prophecy: the Son of God would be betrayed - Check
prophecy: the very Savior of the world would be crucified - Check
prophecy: 3 days of darkness - Check
prophecy: an empty tomb - Check
prophecy: Jesus will rise again - Check
prophecy: an apostasy and darkness to cover the earth - Check

and here we are with some believing

prophecy: light and truth to be restored - Check
prophecy: His word to all the nations - in the process
prophecy: a gathering of the lost sheep - in the process
prophecy: a sifting even amongst the believers - in the process 
prophecy: works of Lucifer would increase 
prophecy: the world will become so wicked

carnal and sensual
everyone left to choose and decide their own rights and wrongs
Free agency was God’s Gift,
but not all gifts are received
valued, and respected.

Many gifts are misused,misunderstood, abused, distorted, tossed to the wayside
to meet the convenience of the receiver

life is a gift
marriage between a man and a woman is a gift
children are a gift
self discipline is a gift
shelter and food…are gifts
choices are gifts that come with consequences

I am saddened at the controversy that exists in the world over
gender identity and same sex attraction
God said Marriage between a Man and a Woman was ordained of God.
God is perfect and I am not about to believe He is wrong.
Does He love those that have addictions and attractions not in harmony with His ways.
Yes He does. 
He loves all of His children.
He wants to help all of His children
have eternal happiness as opposed to momentary pleasure
leading to destruction.
He has the big picture.
I have come to learn for myself that
acceptance does not always equal love.
Love sometimes means saying “No.”

Should I be accepting of the child that prefers to play in the street over the lawn,
accepting of the woman starving herself to 70 pounds,
accepting of the man who wants to beat the crap out of his child fot cleaning up after playing
accepting of the child who does drugs because it feels good,
accepting of someone that takes the life of another,
or should I love them enough to say “No, no that is not okay”, 
then embrace them and tell them to pray
to seek help from the one who DOES KNOW just how to succor
that individual and their particular challenge.

God is the only one that knows.
But I wonder my part in all this.
If I say nothing and
society continues to become more accepting…
maybe someone needs the reminder
God's ways are higher than mans
and you cannot know God's ways
seeking and listening to man's opinions.

….setting all judgement aside
does acceptance enable another
to continue in a life leading to destruction?

someone needs to speak the truth
you are a child of god
you have divinity in you
it takes a man and a woman to bring life into this world
that is God’s plan
yes there are those that battle same sex attraction
just as some battle food addictions,
pornography addictions,
plastic surgery,
 body dysmorphia,
power over the life of another

and the list could go on…

Everyone seems to preach acceptance
but acceptance of that which goes against our divine nature
will never bring peace and joy.
it is only when we have turned towards the Master
to help us achieve mastery over hard, bone crushing, emotionally draining 
challenges, that we can know joy…
the Victory of overcoming that which is holding us bound.

if we all took an honest look at the pros and cons of our behaviors,
I think we would begin to see we are all the author of a prophecy about to be fulfilled.

2nd Timothy 3:1,2,4, “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves... lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God.”

2nd Timothy 4:3, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears.”

Noah is right.
We all have our own battle.
I have mine and it is not a victory yet.
But I know I want to be sifted on the side of God.
I don’t want acceptance of me being less than my divine potential.
The human part of me fights the help and will try to convince the world
that this is just the way I am.
That is Lucifers version.
God’s Version
“I am a daughter of God and I can do all things
(including the hard things)
through Christ who strengthens me”
Becka’s Version
Trust God’s Ways
They ARE ALWAYS higher and greater.

Sunday, June 19, 2016


it has been 2 years since i have blogged.
i am amazed that moments of today
have become long past yesterdays.
there have been many notable memories left unrecorded
without any acknowledgement.

today is not going to be that day.

today is another special day...father's day

a few weeks ago,
i had the opportunity
to witness a great moment. 
my father was selected to receive a prestigious honor and award.

i enjoyed the ambiance and charm of sigma chi's young and old.
for a brief moment,
i felt the unity
 that existed between this distinguished group,
especially when they joined in song.
"sweetheart of sigma chi"

the dinner and conversation did not disappoint.
i reconnected with old friends and made a few new.
i listened as one gentleman spoke of worldly accomplishments
and fortunes made. 

another gentleman
developed worldwide relationships and business successes
all most impressive and worthy of recognition.

and then the words from the emcee
..."carl lind will present our final
significant sigma chi...ray hart."

carl introduced my father
as a track star from idaho falls
bearing the coveted gold outlined tooth.
the delivery of his words were timely.
poignant moments as a sig
became *shark bait
for us hooked on carl's lines.
(another story for another day)

carl was sure to mention that ray's greatest catch
was joanne garff,
the sweetheart of sigma chi,
who just happened to be seated in the bowery.

when you love your dad, like i do
you hope the presenter
will represent him well...
carl did.

my dad, dressed in university of utah colors...
crimson red and white
and with his sigma chi pin,
took to the stage.

my dad...forfeited his written notes
calling them "long and boring."
he spoke from the heart.
his heart called for the young sigs to listen up
"as i pondered what i would say,
the thoughts of why me? 
what have i done to be selected for this honor?
came to my mind.
i remembered a certain quote
i believe being a significant sig come from abiding by these word:

'the things that you do 
that you don't have to do 
will always determine what you are 
when it's too late to do anything about it'

we all have to do, go to work, pay the bills...
but it is in doing the things we don't have to do 
that determines our greatness."

a gentleman on my left obviously intrigued...
"now say that again..."

i glanced around to see so many waiting with anticipation

"the things that you do 
that you don't have to do
will always determine what you are 
when it's too late to do anything about it"

someone else asked for clarification.
my dad shared a specific example
regarding the elegant apparel 
his sweetheart of sigma chi was wearing that very night.

my dad all but went to the ends of the earth
so my mother could have something special for this event.

(it was that very story that brought a beautiful young woman...
maybe a future sweetheart of sigma chi,
over just to meet my mom and compliment her. 
all were touched by her gesture.)

on the way home, i thought
i did not have to go tonight, but i did.
how grateful i was noah was there to hear
such words of greatness
from his significant grandfather.

i could have given the sigma chi's a plethora of "do 's" 
"do 's"  that were certainly not my dad's have to's
and yet...he did them

i wish i had had the gumption to voice

"and if you do it the ray hart way
 you do  those do 's you don't have to do ,
 like it is the most important job in the world. 
you do it to the best of your ability and enjoy it to the very core."

here's a few do 's
~he sent my mom pink keds 
(part of the reason for my existence)
~he came multiple times to my school to help sort crayons and markers and
  a "post it" note pick up when the vacuum was inoperable
~surprised me with a full tank of gas more times than i can count
~took several weeks worth of laundry several times this year, just to give me a lift
~made friends with the others at the laundormat
matched socks, hung t-shirts, straightened here and there...
~funded my future
~investied in my passions
~gave my school custodian a tip
~believied in me, when no one else did
~listened to my presentations
~watched all my smile box slideshows
~put up the student artwork for culture night
~swept the leaves, the garage, the kitchen floor, the casings, the porch
~brought chick fil a soup for the night and the night after because he knows i love it
~repaired and cleaned...not one, but three vacuums
  so that it would do an acceptable job and meet his approval
~cut, assembled, bound, paid and delivered 108 mini utah booklets
  for my 4th grade students
~took the garbage out to the garbage and then to the street
~laughied at my jokes
~sent cards at every occasion
~supplied me with every help for hope of healing
~warmed my car
~always opened and continues to open the door for my mother
~scraped my windshield
~thiought that every craft i did was the world's best
~showed up to noah's practice, games, talks, presentations
~trimmed paper beaver pelts for the 4th grade rendezvous
~made sure i had flowers for parent teacher conference
~gave me blessings
~made arrangements for my temple wedding in sweden
and a honeymoon in paris
~prayed for me to find things that were insignificant for most
  but were important to me
~drove my mom weekly from idaho falls to salt lake
so they could care for noah on fridays
while i worked as an educator

~he is an optimist and a builder...a wonderful example

he has another motto,
"leave a place better than you found it."
he always does.

you don't have to be his daughter to recieve this kind of treatment
i am a keen observer.
i have seen him in his interactions.
he is just like his name
"all HEART"
i wonder what he'll
not have to do...
 but will do today?

happy father's day
mon pere

Monday, June 16, 2014


today was a special day.
emma was going to be baptized
and i was dressed, 
ready to go...
just as soon as
i picked up my couch
 from grandma garffs.
the workers that were going to assist us
were on a remodel.
suggested i step inside
to observe the progress.
he introduced me to the workers
as i made way...
i am not sure what happened,
but something did.

the blood was pooling quickly.
i became frightened.

the look on rick's face
told me
this was no small deal.
no baptism for me today.
no couch for me today.
just the emergency room.
16 excruciating pokes.
11 stitches.
1 big baby.
ME !

rick said,
i cleared out the waiting room.
the physician's assistant confirmed,
"a few asked me,
 'is everything was okay back there?'"

they heard me ????
did i really use the word 

summer break
appears to have it's own agenda.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


my sister and heroine,
was blessed in the calling of seminary teacher.
no doubt,
students in her charge would also be blessed.
CHELLE  has a love and knowledge of the gospel.
she has a personal relationship with the savior
and the desire and hope to instill
this same passion for truth
upon the youth is more than evident.

my sister
extended an opportunity to me
to create
(using gifts, talents, and resources of others)
a set of 
for seminary.
it was a great blessing to me.

each reference was created with purpose and reflection
in which i hope to write about one day.

today is her birthday.
i wish her the happiest of days.

i thank her for personally influencing and touching my life
and oh so many others
for good.
you rock this world
 MICHELLE  mebelle

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the slideshow was out to the music
wherever CHRIST is 
we are "HOME"
and when we have CHRIST
we are never alone

Monday, May 26, 2014


i look out my window...
the flag is posted and waving.
i reflect on the purpose of this day 
away from work.

a day to remember
those that have lived great
and have moved beyond their earthly home.

in a years time,
stephen garff marriott

maxine rice garff
are on my list of thoughtfulness.

this was the day
that i would meet grandma garff
at wasatch lawns
to place flowers on grandpa's headstone.
now she joins him
and as much as i wanted to honor her
and reminisce...
* i just wasn't quite ready.

rick golfed with friends
noah went to seven peaks
and i cleaned
like a madwoman
and there is still more to do

later we celebrated
grandma and grandpa
and we

mom and dad,
with great efforts and persistance on their part
made sure that grandma garff's headstone
was there on wasatch lawns
for this day of
photograph of Ray Hart

this video was presented
to me.
most fitting for the day of 


*on may 28, 2014,
on the return trip from heber city,
i stopped and had a moment
 kisses to my grandma garff
a moment for grandpa royal
and grandma marba,
another to breathe in the beauty of the surroundings...
expressions of love 
and hopes for forgiveness

Wednesday, April 2, 2014


was a constant.
chelle reserved the row of lounge chairs
at first dawn.
rest and relaxation
fun in the sun
catch up and laughs with the fam
pictutres and photos of everything
manicures, pedicures and easter toes
water to drink, water for play
poolside service...
i was fit to be queen
or at least
princess quite a lot.

with rick
enjoying the golf perks.
i had no one to discourage me
T. T. B. F. S.
(trying to be funny syndrome)
and i had my best audience...
my nephews. 
therapy for the soul

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